Waking

Waking I
.9:45 am

in the morning that follows
an eternity of sleep
there is a numbness
that is itself sleep

the wind does not touch anything
sounds are only heard from a distance
light keeps to itself and
my eyes still see only darkness or dreams
there is a great confusion between
memory and what is this moment
what is past lingers
like layers of cracking, peeling paint
my hair touches my face and i
do not feel it
i whistle and it is gone before i can hear it
i yell and the air cannot hold it
i reach for something familiar
and find that it never was
the past gradually exposes itself as illusion
the only thing that's ever been real
is the future
because it contained all the possibilities
all that could have been

i look at the present
and it is both the illusion of past
and the possibility of future
the present is confused and fighting itself
it wants to pick up the past and
carry it into the future
but it cannot
there is no bridge
there is only a continuous diving into unknowns
i cannot afford to be disappointed or surprised
the present is calling for action and
there only seems to be a moving forward

Waking II
.10:25 am

as i was sitting
before i even started walking
it was pulling me out there
the sky was taking all my blues
and putting them into itself
the trees were mimicking
what my fingers did
and showing me smoother motions
a horn honking mocked my voice
a leaf lifting into the wind
rose above my thoughts
then i was gone
and i was everything

Waking III
.10:35 am

moving forward
every step already made
i'm just giving it body
blank pages already filled with words
and i'm just inking them in
i guess now i can say that the reason
i love you
is because i always will

as today approaches
i already remember it passing
and it was good

what i feel right now
is the glue between moments
what i feel right now
is the end product of all past
and future
in this moment i can enjoy
everything that was and is and
could have been and will be

Waking IV
.4:10 pm

after all this forward movement
decisions and seemingly appropriate directions taken
after being awake long past morning
there is still the numbness
it is still sleep
i am still waking
all that this day has been
is still a dream

i have made some motions
but i have not yet taken action
i have watched the sun rise
but i have not yet felt its warmth
i have worked and made a dollar
but i still have nothing

perhaps what i am building here
is meant to be a dream
and when i sleep
i will have my reward

Waking V
.4:45 pm

and i awake in a dream
it is sharp and present
i can taste it
now the wind is not only touching everything
it is talking too
and the sun's warmth is already in my marrow
now there is no difference
between past and future
they are both here together
love makes sense and
hate has no substance
the rainbow has dissolved into everything
and now everything
has its own unique color
lovers understand each other
nothing moves forward
everything moves in its own direction

this is a dream thick with texture
it cuts and caresses
and pulses and flows
it is a silence filled with the birth of
every different kind of life
it is where we know each other
and never meet

this is a dream about uncharted oceans
it is about unbridled wilderness
it is about a freedom so complete
it doesn't even need to know it's free

i am awake
and this is a dream
and it's all true