Attempted Train Epic 6

.3:58 pm 126 cars

Challenging myself and throwing
dares upon the table
I dare me to live a life like this
That's the whole idea, isn't it?
Never ever prostituting myself
to their mindless game
Eat Fuck Consume Shit Sleep Repeat
Never thinking
Never feeling
Each the center of their own
violent and wolf-hungry universe
I dare me to be real

Expecting something better from myself
no compromise
no bullshit
I can step all over myself
like dancing in the streets
how fun that can be
I can chase my shadow up and
down the street brouhahaing
whisper-singing a song
that won't let me go
Run as fast as I can
I will still be there
I can smell me from here

It would seem that I'm
my own best friend
but I have a habit of ignoring him
he looks me in the eye
from the mirror
challenging and expecting
there is hurt in his gaze
he just wants me to stand
as tall as he is
he wants me to look right through him
like he looks through me
he wants me to chill the fuck out -
hold a job
buy a house
take a fucking shower
but I'm hang-gliding
I'm miles from nowhere
from where I can see
he looks like just another ant
lugging something on his shoulder
for someone else
he looks hungry - empty
Fuck no - that's not me

Challenging myself and asking questions
Me and myself looking at expectations
like little pieces of paper
unredeemable
Cred red it's Greed
It's green
Do you just want to be you
or some crazy ass fancy version
of yourself?
a two-dimensional
or the real thing - fleshed out
something you just hear on the radio
or a pair of lips humming
in your ears
our hands together
when you look at me
and I am powerless
everything about you is genuine
when I said, "I want a woman with substance"
I was complimenting you
that's the way Igor says things sometimes
isn't that a fucked up line?
what kinda cop-out crap is that?
three-dimensional
with electricity running through it
I can taste it
when you love me
suddenly there's silence and
then there's the silence you can feel
then there's absolute stillness
An avocado sneezes right about now
vaseline, neosporin, foot spray
makes her hair stand just right
she's a sweet city woman
all covered in dew
she controls her love
like clouds love mountains
she talks to herself
when it's convenient
my faint - temperamental talent
three times she's said she loves me
changes her mind